Insecurities. I’d love to meet a person who reads that word and doesn’t squirm at least a little. Having insecurities is such an odd part of being a person, but it’s also so natural. I feel like people see me, and I hope they envision me as radiant, powerful, kind, empathetic, and confident. Those qualities I seem to rank the highest of myself, and I hope that’s what others see in me. But even the most confident person has their weaknesses.
Some insecurities can be hidden, or distracted from, but my largest insecurity isn’t so easily camouflaged. I have always felt like I look super young. And I am pretty young. My youth has always been a negative for me. I worry about being taken seriously, and that has held me back in life. I spent some time waiting to progress with a career because I wasn’t old enough to know what I wanted. I sit back and watch while other people achieved my dreams. I can be envious of people who obtain my goals before I even start.
It’s bizarre to me, because I have a strong sense of self, and I love who I am. Yet I have been allowing my age to defining me. I think part of my insecurity is fear of judgment. Who takes a young business owner seriously? Will people doubt my expertise? Am I even an expert? Now that last one is ridiculous. I know what I’m good at, and I’m really good at it. That’s not to say I can do anything- my hand eye coordination makes any professional ‘ball sports’ pretty much off the table, but what I do I’m confident that I do very well.
But being young isn’t a weakness. I think it’s amazing to know what I want to do with the rest of my life. The rest of my life is a long time from now, and that’s awesome. I think it’s great to start a business before I have a husband or children. I can be independent and define myself on my own. It means I have the energy to work night shift straight into days, or stay up for an extended period of time at a birth. I can be fully engaged because there isn’t anyone at home splitting my attention, and all I need is a coffee to power through with energy and passion. My youth is an asset, not a weakness.
I watched a ted talk once where the speaker said “Don’t fake it until you make it, fake it until you become it.” I love that. I’m not going to fake being comfortable with myself, I am going to be comfortable with myself. I am radiant, powerful, kind, empathetic, confident, and youthful. I own a business. I support my community, and myself. And when someone asks me how old I am, I’ll confidently tell them “I’m twenty-two!”