I haven’t had a baby yet. I might never have babies. I am the best doula though. My personal experience and relationship with birth doesn’t matter.
Your delivery isn’t about me, it’s all about you.
When you look for a surgeon do you ask them “Have you had this surgery before?” Of course not, that’s so silly. Why would someone highly trained, experienced, and skilled need to have experienced surgery themselves in order to help you through yours?
So why would you disregard a doula who hasn’t delivered their own baby? That seems equally silly.
Mothers, doctors, midwives, nurses, and doulas all know- every birth is different.
A ‘textbook’ birth doesn’t really exist. The same parents will create a unique baby each time. That mother will have a unique pregnancy, and experience a unique labor and delivery each time. Parts of the experience may be the same, she may have favorite pushing positions, or similar sciatic pain, but the majority will be a unique experience.
This means that I could be at hundreds of births, and never experience one like yours.
What’s also great about having no personal birth experience- I’m not bringing my experience to yours. Your experience gets to stand alone. Another great thing, I have no childcare to juggle! I can stay at your birth for 3 days straight if you need me to. My kids won’t miss their mommy and I won’t be distracted by missing them, because there aren’t any kids.
My job as a doula is to use my intuition to attune to you, to support you.
Having a baby, or experience with every possible birth, is certainly not a requirement to be the best doula. Being the best is about supporting your client through a range of emotions. I’m the best doula because even though I’d rather just laugh- I know how to laugh, cry and do everything in between with you.