Standing above her crib, you hold your baby who is peacefully asleep. Finally. Snuggled up in her cuddly little swaddle blanket, you know she’s safe and comfortable. So you gently lay her down into her little bed. Eww what’s that smell? Oh. It’s you. It’s ok, mommy funk is totally acceptable, especially with such a fresh little baby. You decide it’s the perfect time for some self care, as she sleeps.
A shower sounds nearly divine. You put your spit-upy shirt in the laundry, turn on the hot water, and climb in. It feels amazing. You close your eyes, letting the water fall onto your hair, and down your face. Suddenly you hear her. Your baby is SCREAMING. The water shuts off. You hastily wrap yourself in a towel, and rush down the hall, dripping water the whole way. You push past her door and find, she’s still asleep. What was that? You could have sworn she was crying.
That was a phantom cry. And although the crying isn’t happening, phantom crying is real.
Some parents, or caregivers of small babies, will hear a baby cry when there is no actual crying happening. Phantom crying happens at the most unfortunate times. Usually when you know your baby is safe and doesn’t need you, so you attempt to care for yourself. While your showering, catching a quick wink of sleep, or cooking, just to name a few. This phantom crying can make you feel like you are going crazy. But you’re not. It is a real experience, with a few possible solutions.
If you’re feeling especially frustrated, you may consider a video baby monitor, so you can see if your baby is crying before you end your task. You may be over tired, and need to enlist the help of a friend, family member, or postpartum doula so you can get real sleep. If it’s affecting your daily life or giving you anxiety, you should talk to your doctor.
Early parenting will probably be stressful, but you should be able to enjoy parts of it. If you’re struggling to adjust to life after a new baby, find your village, talk to your doctor, and get on track to enjoy your postpartum experience.